


Too late at night

by kirby1196



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Adult Themes, Cussing, F/M, Mobster AU, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 05:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5993095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirby1196/pseuds/kirby1196
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans is known for keeping a calm head and his emotions internal with anyone that crossed his path. But when one of his partners decides to shake that foundation, will he be able to walk out unchanged? Or is it even possible for the two to be together without sacrificing their entire identity?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too late at night

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> So this was first a one-shot, but I wouldn't mind expanding on it and actually writing a story to this if you guys want it. It is MuffetXSans, or very little in this one-shot. I decided that if I did do a story for these guys it wouldn't be your typical love story, so let me know if you want this continued! If not, then I hope you enjoy this mobster one-shot for how it is.

It’s not that Sans wasn’t used to jobs going past midnight. On the contrary, he was usually surprised if a job got finished early and he was in bed before morning, losing consciousness to the sounds of sirens and their neighbors shouting at each other.

It wasn’t that he had other things to do tonight, as Undyne would put it. She didn’t understand the simplicity of afternoon naps and reading car magazines. ‘If you helped at the restaurant, then you’d have an excuse,’ she would always start, ‘but you’re just laying around! So put those bones to use!’ Either way he didn’t care.

But the thing Sans did care about was who he was working with.

Usually he was paired up with his brother; it was almost rare when he wasn’t. He would always linger near the building they were looting and give warnings if something was about to go down, sometimes he was the muscle if Papyrus’ hands were full and a human crew caught up to them, but rarely was he the one cleaning.

That was Papyrus’ area; cleaning up a mess, disposing evidence and looting when the orders came in. He was the cleaner of the family, while he was the odd job. They were usually the last on the scene, but he didn’t mind. Papyrus still dreamt of someday impressing Undyne enough so that he could go on ‘real missions’ as he would call it. But Sans knew the only thing he was impressing Undyne with was how skilled he was at hiding bodies.

There had been times when he was with Undyne, a partnership he disliked for the most part. Undyne usually brought him along if they were going to a territory packing heat, and he never disappointed.

However Sans preferred other methods besides no mercy, so him and Undyne found themselves butting heads more than they would have liked. For the moment if Undyne did need him it was for interrogation or torture, two types of work he disliked for how much work they made him do.

There had even been a time when he worked alongside Alphys, the family doctor, but she was known more for her work in the garage. For that scenario however he was tasked as the errand boy while Alphys performed a soul recovery on one of their fallen family members.

Either way, at least with all three he could tolerate them to a degree. He understood them. But there was one more pairing Sans wasn’t a fan of. It wasn’t common like on a weekly basis, but it wasn’t rare either with the hopeful satisfaction of never having to do it again. And tonight, he was assigned to _her_.

“Ahuhu, why the long face?” With a simple twirl Muffet turned her attention back to her trailing companion. Her long, dark purple winter cloak twirled with her figure, the hood pulled over her face to protect her identity while two black, gloved hands extended out of the cloak. Nested in her fingers was the handle to a wicker basket and a delicate, silky red cloth was placed over the basket to hide its contents. If one bowed their head to the small woman they might see her glittering, black fangs, her purple skin and two of her five, scheming purple eyes.

Sans kept the same face he was wearing when Muffet gave him her attention, which was his usual grin, though his eyes said he was tired. His blue fedora was nested atop his skull, pulled down low to mask his eye sockets while a warm, blue scarf was fluffed up enough to hide the rest of his face from any onlookers. A dark blue trench coat was buttoned securely, with the long sleeves extending down to his black, gloved hands, which for the moment were hiding in the pockets of the trench coat. Pin-striped pants and black loafers completed the rest of his outfit.

Even without all the bulgy clothes, Sans would still be hard-pressed to feel the light snow fall down upon him. The one thing he appreciated about being a skeleton; it didn’t matter what the weather was, the cold nor the heat would ever bother him.

He couldn’t say the same for Muffet. Even with her gloating smile, she wasn’t strong enough to hide her shiver. She was the one who really needed the clothes, not him.

Sans lightly shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come now, I could find a more genuine happy face in a plastic mask.” Muffet chided, deciding to use her other four, hidden arms to pull the cloak around her tighter.

The hood to her outfit moved as she turned her head, glancing at the tall and crumbling brick buildings to either side. The road between the buildings had more holes in it then Sans’ skeletal frame, and in alleyways poor humans stood around metal trashcans with fire licking out from the top to stay warm on such a winter’s night. “Do you really feel the need to hide from me?”

Sans responded by pulling the collar of his trench coat up to cover the bottom of his scarf. They were in human territory for the moment, a dangerous place for any monster to step foot or rear their head. But then again, those same principles applied to any human who stepped foot into their territory.

A sharp snap made Sans realize how close Muffet now drew her face to his. It was easy for him to see the annoyance in her eyes and sour frown. “I expect a conversation on this job.”

Her frown slowly rose into a delightful, contempt smile. “Unless you truly want to play the part of the dumb, silent, muscle monster~ In that case, you’re doing a wonderful job, Ahuhu~”

Sans’ grin lightly twitched, deciding to side-step Muffet and continue walking, though he did brush her shoulder with his. “I’d say your acting skills are on par, too. You’re supposed to be the high-strung, stick-up-her-rear gal, right? Coulda fooled me.”

He glanced at her. “This isn’t some outing, Muffet. We’re supposed to be undercover.”

Muffet straightened her back, easily catching back up to Sans. “Undercover missions don’t require silence.”

With a few long strides she was in front of Sans again, leaning forward to be on par with his eye-level. “You just choose to be cold~”

“I don’t know. Have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘Silence is Golden’?” Sans lowered his skull as they passed by a nearby alleyway filled with humans. Muffet pulled her hood farther down her face. “Besides, the faster we do this job, the sooner I can go to sleep.”

“You make it sound like you don’t like missions with me~”

Sans lifted his skull back up after they crossed the alleyway to notice Muffet had turned her head away from him. She held the wicker basket in one hand now, with her other hand close to her mouth. She cooed with an innocent, sad tone. “Did I do something to make you upset… Sans?”

Sans’ cheeks lit up with a small twinge of blue, then narrowed his eye sockets and dug his hands deeper into his pocket. His pupils disappeared for a moment for the hollow abyss of his eyeholes. “Don’t play me like a fool, Muffet. I caught on awhile ago, so stop this charade.”

“Hmph.” Muffet soon dropped her hand as quickly as she raised it, eyeing Sans from beneath her hood. “You were much more fun when you got flustered~ Thinking that I was hurt~”

She pursed her lips together, her eyes shining with contempt. Her voice came out soft again, though now it only mocked Sans. “Oh Sans, I just want you to like me…~”

She brushed her arm up against his and giggled when he moved away. Sans eyed Muffet from underneath his fedora, noticing the cute smile on her face as she laughed at him. “Heh, toying with other monster’s emotions. Real funny.”

“It is.” Muffet agreed, her strides fuller as they continued to crunch through the new-fallen snow.

Muffet retained her gaze at the other side of the street, slowing down until she stopped. “We’re here.”

Sans stopped beside her, noticing the building they were going to hit. It was a five story brick apartment in a sorry state. The windows were either cracked or smashed out, the bricks appeared to be in a dismal condition, and the wooden doors to the entrance looked as though they would fall backwards if the wind knocked on it.

Muffet’s cloak rustled, which meant to Sans that she was using her hidden arms. From below her two visible arms a third, ungloved hand came out. It opened to reveal a small spider, which Muffet gave her attention to. “This is the right building, yes?”

Sans couldn’t hear the conversation that went on between the two spiders, probably because it was a silent one. Muffet soon nodded her head though, curled her fingers and withdrew her hand. She turned to Sans. “I expect you got the briefing, but let’s make sure we’re on the same page~ This used to be a human safe-house, but they’re abandoning it for a nicer one up town~ They plan to let the building rot, but some of the humans found my spiders and are keeping them hostage~”

“Humans holding spiders hostage.” Sans just let that sentence float in the air for a second. “You think they would be smart and kill them.”

“They probably wish to draw me out~” Muffet’s cloak ruffled, which Sans took as an indication that she crossed her other two pairs of arms. “Usually I don’t do search and rescue missions, but those spiders inside are some of my best, and I won’t let them be squashed~”

Muffet turned her gaze back to the building. “Even if they could escape on their own, it’s too cold outside for them to make it back to monster territory~ We’re there only hope~”

Sans blinked, then relaxed his shoulders. “So we’ll enter in from another entrance and rescue the spiders that have been captured. I’m here in case things get hairy.”

“Don’t forget the best part~” Muffet produced a small smile, lifting up the red cloth on her basket to reveal a bunch of tightly packed cinnamon rolls. “I’ll place these inside the building at certain points. We detonate them when we’re safe enough away.”

“Sticky buns.” Sans stared at Muffet. “As if they weren’t messy enough.”

“They’ll soon make everything messy~” Muffet giggled, which always sounded like an insane child to Sans. Carefully she placed the cloth back over her bombs, drawing her hood farther down her head. “We’ll continue down this street, then take the next alleyway to the back~”

Sans shrugged. “Let’s get to it, then.”

Getting to the back entrance of their target building was fairly easy for the both of them. Being as short as they were and with Sans’ taste in clothing, most humans they walked past assumed they were the rich children of their mafia and stayed far away. This garnered Muffet to giggle every time they watched humans change which side of the road they walked on if they came near.

They stayed near the walls of the alley way they crossed to get to the back of the human safe-house, hiding in the shadows in case any humans were on patrol. The place was being abandoned, but wasn’t empty completely yet.

The two made their stop when they found themselves behind the worn-down building. Sans noticed the lack of a door in the back before hearing the scuttling of maybe thirty spiders. Muffet had brought out her other four hands which held her little army of spiders, bringing them close to her face and giving them an air kiss. “Remember, you tell me if there’s any humans in the rooms~ If you get us caught though, I might just have to bake you into a pie~”

“That’s some sound parenting you got there.” Sans whispered. He couldn’t see the spiders but he wasn’t hard of hearing. He figured Muffet was smiling at him all the same.

“It gets them to listen~ Now, if you would be so kind~”

Sans didn’t have to get a briefing to figure out what Muffet wanted of him. His left eye glowed blue as he absentmindedly lifted his left hand, feeling the mass of spiders become engulfed in his magic as well as the fact that he could see his blue aura over take them. With one finger he lifted them up and over to a broken window of the second floor, giving a general estimate on where the ground was inside before releasing his magic.

He eyed Muffet. “So what, we wait half an hour for them to get into the hall?”

He could feel Muffet move closer to him. “Oh please, you have little faith in my spiders~ They’ll be out surveying by the time we get up there ourselves.”

“And that plan being…?” Sans knew what Muffet was eluding to, but honestly he would rather not use his magic anymore. It was flashy and gave away their position in the dead of night if someone happened to be looking down this alleyway.

Muffet frowned. “I think you know~”

Sans winked. “Gotcha. You’ll carry me up the wall using your spider powers.”

Muffet took a step back, her voice dipped lightly with poison. “Ah yes, how silly of me to forget~ I’ll just let the humans know we’re here when you fall out of my grasp and smash onto the ground~”

“Cool, I’ll bring the fireworks.” Sans wasn’t going to budge on his decision. “A small band of spiders won’t create a lot of light, but picking up you or me will give away our position.”

He heard Muffet produce a snappy sigh, which meant that he won this war of logic. “Hey, I believe in you. Just gotta put some ‘backbone’ into it.”

“I can do without the puns~” Sans felt Muffet draw behind him before verifying her action when three of her six hands wrapped around his ribcage. She lifted him into the air with a little struggle, allowing her fourth hand to carry the basket while she used her last two hands and feet to start ascending the wall.

Sans relaxed. “I think they’re pretty ‘punny’. If you just stop ‘spine-ing’, you might enjoy them.”

Muffet groaned to let Sans know how she felt and also how much she struggled when getting him to the second floor. Salvation came quick as she dropped Sans in first, who stepped aside to let Muffet dart underneath the broken glass shards and into the empty room.

Sans’ grin stretched, deciding to keep his comment silent since he didn’t know who lingered outside their door.

Any thumps or creaks could give away their position, so they had to move quickly but on their toes for the most part. While the room they landed in was masked in darkness, Sans could make out a beat-up pool table in the corner and some dented file cabinets. Guess this was a storage room.

Muffet used this time of silence to make her way around the room, placing two sticky buns in opposite corners and lightly pressing the top. A small click could be heard and nothing more.

She turned her attention to Sans, gesturing a finger for him to follow, or that was what he assumed Muffet was doing. The darkness didn’t help his eyesight.

Together they crept over to the only door out of the room, though Muffet wouldn’t let Sans grab the handle. He assumed she was waiting to hear from her spiders when she lightly hissed.

“Something wrong?” Sans whispered, taking the moment at hand to lean up against the door.

“I can hear the captured spiders~” Muffet sounded irritated, going so far as to use two of her hidden hands to rub the sides of her forehead. “They know I’m here and are just screaming where they are~ If they weren’t valuable I would use them in my next brew~”

“Sounds like a problem is ‘brewing’.” Sans winked, even if Muffet didn’t appreciate the joke.

Not a second later she placed her hand on the handle. “They say they’re on the top floor~”

Sans decided to move off of the door, taking a few steps back. “Guess we can’t do this the easy way and fly up there.”

Muffet shook her head. “We need to plant these bombs on the inside~ This place will be crawling with cops by morning, and the only conclusion we want them to come to is that the place was done in by the human family since it was no use to them anymore~”

“Avoiding interrogation is always a plus.” Sans smiled. “I think the patrons are sick of watching them come in for one of us.”

Muffet lightly hummed. “Well your restaurant will be safe tomorrow~”

With a light nod Muffet slowly opened the door into the hallway, deciding to embark first while Sans followed behind. He assumed the spiders in the hall told her that there weren’t any humans, to which there weren’t.

Light creaks and groans accompanied their steps as Muffet darted from the front of the hall to the back, placing her sticky buns in probably calculated positions before motioning the way up with another flight of stairs. Just before they reached the top Muffet placed a hand behind her for Sans to stop, not realizing how close she was to him when her palm almost hit into his skull.

Sans let out a quick, audible sound as he leaned back from being hit, then started to topple completely. Muffet lightly gasped and grabbed the front of his trench coat to keep him from falling, crouching low on the darkened stairs. Sans was thankful Muffet grabbed him as his feet were half-way off the stairs. He quickly regained ground and crouched with Muffet, noticing two beams of light atop.

He didn’t need to be told that there were humans on patrol.

“You think that spider lady is comin’ tonight?” Sans felt his nerves tense, and he felt it in Muffet too when her hand on his clothes tightened.

“Don’t ask me, I think the boss has finally lost it. I mean come on, they’re just spiders. Why do we have to go to such great lengths to keep them trapped and stake out this old building?”

“You heard the boss; she believes that all spiders report back to that weird, spider girl. Says they tell her where our safe-houses are or where we’re goin’.”

“Do you really believe that garbage?”

“Hey, you heard what happened to the Redalga Family.”

“If you ask me, they deserved to be shot up. Their money trail was so easy to follow, not some spiders that ‘reported’ back to some weird spider gal.”

“Well, nothin’ we can really do about it. If she comes, we shoot her. If she doesn’t, we kills them spiders.”

“What a wasted night. For our sake I hope that spider lady tries breakin’ in.”

The sound of footsteps and the beams of light retreated to the back of the hall before both heard a door open and close. Sans waited for Muffet to let go of his clothes and slowly enter the next hall before he came up himself.

“This might be a bad time to do this.” Sans whispered, feeling his eyesight finally adjusting to the darkened place. “They pretty much know we’re here.”

Muffet turned her head back, narrowing her eyes. “They don’t know we’re here~”

Sans leaned on the banister. “Nah, I’m pretty sure they do. I know you’re not on the field often, but the humans aren’t as stupid as you think they are.”

He closed his eyes. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they were supposed to say that so that we would think they don’t know.”

He reopened his eyes to the sound of Muffet going behind the stairs and placing another sticky bun. “I’m not saying we abandon the spiders. But we could be falling into a trap by going this route.”

“I have orders to plant the bombs~” Muffet coolly replied, keeping with her set pace as she continued down the hall. Sans followed behind, trying to keep quiet.

He couldn’t help but whisper back. “He paid you well, didn’t he?”

Muffet didn’t respond, but Sans already got his answer. This must be a special family if the boss was asking for murder.

Once Muffet placed her bombs the two proceeded with going up the next step of stairs. However when they reached the top Muffet brought a hand to her mouth, stifling a gasp followed with an audible groan.

Sans broadened his stance, ready to catch Muffet if she fell back onto the stairs. “What, that spider pie finally setting in?”

“It’s spider poison.” Muffet lurched forward as Sans moved quickly in front of her to catch her. She pushed his hands back, lifting her head quickly. “I can’t hear anyone, I-!”

Something on the ground caught her attention that made her gasp again. Sans turned his skull to notice a small pile of something black on the ground; the spiders Muffet sent out.

“They were expecting us.” Muffet whispered softly, as though the situation was finally settling in her mind.

Then, a beam of light encased the two from the stairs. “Hey, they’re here!”

Sans tackled Muffet to the ground, hearing the gunshots from below zip above them and into the ceiling. He quickly rolled off of her, getting to one knee as he helped Muffet away from staircase before getting back up and running down the hall. Muffet followed behind, slamming the sticky buns on the walls where she could.

A door opened before the two but Sans nor Muffet saw who came out since the skeleton raised his hand. A blur of blue and white appeared before zipping into the open-door frame, followed by a blood-curdling scream from whoever waited inside.

“You gonna be ok?” Sans asked, side-stepping behind Muffet before calling forth sharpened bones into existence, slamming his hands down and sending them at the goons that now came up the stairs. He grinned to hear screams and the sound of bodies falling down the stairs.

“I’ll be fine, just faint~” Muffet reassured Sans, placing two of her arms on the next set of stairs and beckoning Sans to join her. He hurried over to them, summoning at the end of the hall one of his faithful blasters as the hall erupted into a high-intensity beam of energy. “It’s not enough to kill me~”

“Good, cause I wasn’t going to carry you.” Sans remarked as he ran up the stairs with Muffet.

Muffet soon stopped when they were half-way up the stairs. Sans opened his mouth to question her move when he suddenly saw her hand careening at him from the dark. He caught it before she could do damage, but she looked pissed all the same. “Don’t you activate those blasters here while I’m planting bombs!”

Sans let go of Muffet’s hand, shrugging. “I thought you wanted stupid muscle.”

She sneered at his remark, to which he looked away. “Yeah, I can take the blame for that. I’ll be careful.”

“Good~” With her answer Muffet continued up the stairs, making sure Sans didn’t lag too far behind. “I don’t feel like picking out my urn yet~”

From the darkness on the next floor Muffet hissed when they noticed two bodies block the way. Sans ducked just as he heard guns go off while Muffet lunged for the wall. She dropped her basket, leaving Sans to catch it on its descent down the stairs as she scuttled after the bodies, throwing herself between the two.

Both men shouted in fear when she landed between them, her cloak fluttering upwards as she revealed her extra four arms and her outfit. She wore a dark purple, white pin-striped suit with the belt holding several syringes of different variations of purple.

Two of her hands held syringes full of dark purple liquid, which she quickly injected into their arms. Sans flattened himself next to the wall when he saw the men grab at their arms desperately before losing conscious and banging down the stairs.

He soon joined Muffet atop, looking down for a second. “Poison?”

Muffet giggled. “My own brand~”

The two continued to fight their way up the floors, killing any humans that showed themselves while avoiding the deadly bullets that dominated the air space. With each wave Sans could hear a band of humans starting to catch up a few floors down, turning his skull to Muffet as they entered the top floor.

She hummed lightly, as if there wasn’t an army of humans after them. “So, this floor isn’t soaked in spider poison~ I bet the captives didn’t even know there was poison on the bottom levels~”

“Neat.” Sans lightly sweated. It didn’t look like any humans were on this floor, but he’d rather not face the humans that were coming up to them while the place was wired with bombs. He got lucky with his blaster, but if he fired again it could be the end for all of them. “You know where they are?”

“How could I not~” Muffet hissed, reaching the end of the hall at one particular door. She started to turn her eyes to her companion but by then he had already broken down the door with the aid of his bones.

Through the reflective light stored inside the snow on the window sill, the two could easily see the glass container where the captive spiders had been kept. Muffet brought two hands to her chest, running inside. “Finally!”

It was easy for her to open the top of the cage, sticking two of her hands inside while the captive spiders hurriedly climbed onto her skin and into her cloak. She lightly cooed. “Are you darlings alright? Because I’m not~ You better keep quiet now, or I might just have to leave you here, Ahuhu~”

Muffet jumped in her spot when she heard the door slam back into place, turning to see Sans in the room now with his blue aura over the door. His pupils had retired. “Time’s up. The human’s are here.”

“Get the door down!” Angry voices could be heard behind the door, followed by loud gunshots. Splinters of wood shot into the room as the door was pierced and riddled, leaving Sans to drop his magic and swerve to the side of the wall. Muffet jumped up and clung to the ceiling, gasping as a barrage of humans ran into the room.

Her thoughts turned to the intact windows of the room but that plan disappeared when out of the corner of her eye she saw Sans’ grabbed.

He struggled against his captor’s grip but ultimately stopped when guns were all around his skull. “Don’t move!”

“Sans!” Muffet cried, feeling more than a dozen barrels suddenly trained on her. She could take some damage, but Sans couldn’t take a hit. They were trapped.

“Off the ceiling and come with us!” One of the men ordered, pumping his gun into the air at Muffet in a mock attempt to show that he wasn’t playing around. Muffet had no choice but to do as was told, allowing her body to drop to the ground into a small circle the humans made her.

The humans moved around her as they exited the room, her eyes trained on Sans up front. He wearily glanced back at Muffet as one goon attempted to hit him with the back of their gun. “Don’t look at her!”

He simply side-stepped the attack, turning his skull ahead. “I get the point.”

Muffet hissed displeasingly, then turned her attention to the humans who were eyeing her. They weren’t trying to hide their curiosity with her or their voices. “God, she’s ugly.”

“She looks like a little girl; how old do you think she is?”

“I don’t know if I should spray her with bug killer or play with her.” A few laughs arose from the group of men.

Muffet smiled. “Careful, I bite when I play~”

It didn’t seem like the humans knew about the bombs she planted, which eased her mind a little. She didn’t know where they were being taken, but she was ready for a battle if things got real bad. For now, she couldn’t risk Sans getting a bullet in his skull.

The men led the two monsters through a door to a secret staircase going up, which they took out onto the roof. Muffet lightly shivered to be back in the cold, even though the safe-house itself was as cold as a refrigerator. At least inside there wasn’t a torrent of wind and snow, which covered the roof in a glowing mass.

Sans was kept near the entrance back inside with two men, while the rest moved Muffet to the center of the roof. There they took steps back, keeping their barrels trained on her.

Muffet turned her head to notice her situation, eyes narrowing on one man particular, who stood near Sans but didn’t threaten him with a gun. Out of all of the men, he was the only one wearing a green tuxedo while the others were dressed in black.

“What do you intend to do with us?” Muffet kept her voice low. “You got me, so now what? Do you plan to kill me?”

“Kill? That’s a strong word.” The man in green smiled, it was the same venom she usually held in her contempt smiles. “I wasn’t sure you would come to get your sentries, but now that you’re here I couldn’t possibly kill you so quickly.”

He absentmindedly pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with one hand while inhaling deeply. He crouched and blew it in Sans’ face, which made Muffet growl. “I want to get a good look at you.”

“Well, you’re getting it.” Muffet did a small twirl, but it wasn’t her usual, playful ones. “Might as well take a picture, it’ll last.”

“Oh, I don’t want a picture.” The man cooed, his joy of this moment so thick it could spread on toast. “I thought maybe I could get to know you better.”

“You want to take me on a date?” Muffet cocked her head to the side, lightly giggling. “Careful darling, I’m an expensive monster~”

The man cocked an eyebrow, then shook his head. “I wasn’t thinking of a date. More of an invitation.” He outstretched a hand. “Come work for us.”

Muffet straightened her back, disgusted almost that this man would even offer. Her eyes wandered back over to Sans, who for the moment kept his hands in his pockets. His empty eyeholes stared straight at her.

She tilted her head up. “I’m sorry darling, but I think your eyesight needs to be checked~ I’m a monster, you’re a human~”

The man shrugged. “I don’t mind those things. You could be a valuable asset to us if you became our informant with your little legion of spiders.”

The man in green gestured a hand to his side, hearing something jingle its way up the stairs onto the roof. Muffet gasped and brought two hands to her mouth, watching as one goon brought up a flour sack bulging with something heavy. He brought it to the man’s feet as he bent down and undid the rope which kept the contents of the sack hidden.

He smiled, then brought out a handful of golden coins, allowing them to slowly drop back into the sack. “I know how you work. You only act when someone gives you enough of this monster gold, right? I know a girl who likes her money when I see one.”

Muffet bit her lower lip, eyes watching the glimmering gold drop innocently back into the sack. Her eyes then shot at the man holding the money. “You humans don’t work with our currency.”

“We don’t,” The man started. “But we just so happened to gun-down enough monsters to amass a little collection of these trinkets. They’re worthless to us, but we know what you’ll do just to get your hands on them.”

The man smiled again. “So let’s make a deal, huh girly? I’ll give you all this gold in this here sack,” His eyes drifted down to Sans. “If you push your friend here off the roof.”

Muffet blinked. “You want me to kill him?”

The man inhaled some of his cigarette, blowing out a satisfied trail of smoke. “He’ll crack on the ground all the same. But yeah, I want you to kill him. If you can do that, then you can have all this money, and any other gold we find on other monsters. Any gold that we collect is yours, and you don’t have to share it with anyone.”

Muffet didn’t answer immediately, her hands hanging idly to the side of her body. Her eyes stared at the sack of gold hungrily, but they soon drifted over towards Sans.

She kept her eyes on him, noticing that he had silently pulled out one of his hands and was tapping his gloved hand on the side of him. She paid close attention to the taps, then smiled. “Bring him over here~”

The man in green looked to the goon that had Sans at gun-point, who pushed Sans out into the ring. His pupils came back to him as he stumbled forward, watching as Muffet stepped lively over to where he was.

His grin didn’t waiver. “You wouldn’t.”

Muffet giggled with a haunting tone, her voice dripping with happiness. “Oh, I would~”

She snatched for Sans’ hands, pulling them behind him and pushing him to move. The humans hovered behind Muffet as she forced Sans close to the edge of the roof, where a long, dark drop to his death awaited.

Muffet hummed a happy tune as she pushed Sans as close to the edge as possible without sending him over yet. “Any last words?”

“I got a few.” Sans started, closing his eye sockets for a moment. “There’s nothing you won’t do for gold, huh?”

“What can I say?” Muffet’s grip on Sans’ tightened. She leaned her head in close to his skull; he was able to feel her breath on his spine. “I’m a monster with her priorities straight~”

With a hearty shove, Sans toppled off of the roof and down into the darkness. The rest of the humans clamored together to see if they could see Sans hit the ground, but Muffet waved her hand at them as she stepped away. “Nothing interesting to see there, boys~ Just a broken skeleton~”

Muffet came to a halt when she noticed the man in green walk over with one man behind him carrying the gold. He whistled. “You’re more malicious than I thought.”

He laughed. “Did you even care about that monster?”

Muffet decided to laugh with the human. “There’s only one thing I care about~” She eyed the sack, which the man took notice of and snapped his fingers.

The goon set down the sack of gold, which Muffet greedily took into her arms. “There’s your cut.”

“Oh, thank you~” Muffet swooned, hugging the sack of gold closely to her body.

The man in green sneered in disgust, still wearing his contempt smile. “You’re a gold-digging whore all right.”

Muffet closed her eyes for the moment, taking a deep breath. “That might be true~”

From behind her a symphony of blue erupted from the dark, startling the humans to reach for their guns. Muffet just stayed where she stood, opening her eyes when she felt the magic behind her rise upwards. A barrage of blasters were all lined up and primed for attack. Sans stood on the one in the middle, grinning madly beneath his scarf and hat.

The man in green gasped, his mouth dropping his cigarette before angrily looking at Muffet.

She laughed. “But you should know something about me~ I only accept money if I know I win in the end~”

“Kill them!” The man in green grabbed for his revolver in his back pocket, while the others aimed their guns. Muffet turned and slid to the ground just as Sans and his blasters moved in front of her, stunning the group from firing in fear of the torrent of death assailing them.

Muffet rose to her feet quickly and ran over to Sans’ blaster, grabbing onto one of the curved horns and pulling herself up. Sans lightly turned his skull to look at her, taking off his scarf and stuffing it in his pocket. “Hey there. You enjoy your playtime with the humans?”

“They were all boring~” Muffet pretended to yawn, keeping two eyes fixated on him. “I wish to go home~”

“’Tibia’ honest, I’m fine with that.” Sans agreed, motioning his blaster up and away from the others.

The man in green gritted his teeth before pointing his gun at the moving blaster. “You bastards!!”

Sans didn’t turn his skull back, motioning his hand down as the blasters went off. He lightly turned to Muffet. “You might want to hold on.” Just as the blasters ate through the roof of the building and hit the top floor.

The building Sans and Muffet once crawled and eventually ran through exploded in every direction, sending the blaster Sans and Muffet were sitting on careening off into the distance at top speeds. Sans and Muffet held onto one of the horns of the blaster as their bodies dangled off, and while Sans was more concerned with keeping his hat, he couldn’t help but overhear Muffet laughing innocently beside him. It was the first genuine laugh he heard from her all night.

The two had made it back to their territory in time just as the blaster gave out on them, depositing them a few blocks into their area. They figured it would be best since the human gang would be crawling all around their territory looking for them. After all, they did just blow up a safe-house, abandoned or not.

For the moment the two walked down the snowy streets of their home, with Muffet humming a happy tune.

“Oh, what a wonderful haul~” Muffet twirled as she held the sack of gold.

She eyed Sans teasingly. “You should play damsel in distress more often, Ahuhu~”

Sans was taking his time to pin the Delta Rune back onto his trench coat, while Muffet let her hood come down to show off her black hair which was neatly put up in pigtails. “Remember, the money goes to the Boss. It’s not all yours.”

Muffet spun to look at Sans, her lips pursed for a good pout. “Can’t we just say we retrieved the spiders and blew up the safe-house? There doesn’t have to be a report of me obtaining gold in the process~”

“You?” Sans remarked, lifting his fedora higher up on his skull while idly taking his gloves off.

Muffet giggled. “Of course~ You’re not getting any of this~”

“Then I don’t think I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Sans knew Muffet wouldn’t buy her way out of the situation, his grin growing to watch her sneer at him.

She would rather give up anything else than her cash. “Hmph. Such an uncivilized monster~”

“Heh, don’t lose an arm over it. You get a cut from the job anyways. Be glad it’s something.” Sans liked getting paid, but it wasn’t his top priority. Most of the cash went into fixing the place, getting new clothes and buying food more than anything else. He inwardly smiled to see Papyrus beam at their new stand-up chalk-sign, which he figured he would use to buy with his cut.

“It could be more,” Sans shuddered when he felt Muffet’s hand trail up his back, specifically on his spine. She breathed with her words, “If you promise to keep those bones _tight_ ~”

Sans swatted Muffet’s hand away, his pupils disappeared as he heard Muffet’s light giggle. “Did I overstep my boundaries? I didn’t mean to, I just get clingy sometimes~”

She giggled again, as if her teasing got even funnier.

“Is this the reason you keep asking for me? Because you like to mock me?”

Muffet lost her smile, taking notice of the black abyss that awaited for her in Sans’ eyes. She took a moment to blink, angling her head back to the snow-fallen street before them. “Well, of course I do~ What kind of question is that?”

When Sans didn’t respond she snorted. “What, you think I’ll take Papyrus with me instead? That skeleton would be full of more holes quicker than he would be able to draw his magic~”

Sans allowed his pupils to return before tiredly closing his eye sockets. “Then find someone else. There are plenty of other monsters who would probably put up with you.”

“There probably are~” Sans opened his eye sockets and tilted his skull up to feel Muffet’s gloved hands cup his cheek bones. Her face was very close to his, being able to feel her warm breath leave her mouth in trails of white. “But I don’t just want someone who will put up with me~ I want someone who is fun, smart and knows how to make the best of a situation~ And you’re the only monster I know who does all three best~”

Sans could feel his blush overtake him again, but it was more due to the fact that Muffet was way too close for his liking. His blush got worse when she tapped a finger on his teeth, giggling. “Don’t think this is a confession~ I only have room in my heart for one thing, and it’s already full~”

The sound of gold chinking wafted up from beneath Muffet’s head. He watched her seductive smile morph into a small, innocent one.

Sans felt himself ease up, his smile more natural. “I hope you two are happy.”

“Oh, we are~” Muffet stepped back to give Sans his room, cradling the sack of gold like it was her child. She nuzzled her head on the surface of the bag, closing her eyes in sweet embrace.

She opened two of her eyes to gingerly stare at Sans. “Perhaps if you had more money this might have been a different conversation.”

Sans lightly chuckled, his hands finding their way back into his pocket. “No thanks. I’m not into gold diggers.”

“And I’m not into sad sacks~” Muffet replied, her smile genuine as she giggled again.

Shrugging his shoulders, Sans turned his back to Muffet whilst taking a few steps forward. Muffet lowered her bag of money. “Where are you heading? Asgore’s quarters aren’t in that direction~”

“I’ll report in the morning.” Sans waved a hand back as he continued to walk down the road. The snow that fell atop his hat started to come down harder. “I’m tired.”

Muffet didn’t try to stop Sans as he kept his leisurely pace down the streets of their territory. Instead she allowed herself to smile, shake her head and proceed to Asgore’s building.

By the time Sans got home he was surprised to see a dim light shining inside from the windows. Their place was nothing more than a three story, red-bricked building, which was in need of repairs.

‘Font a la Spaghetti’ read the name of the restaurant on both windows, a name both of them worked hard to figure out together. At least they didn’t go with, ‘The Italian restaurant,’ like the Boss suggested.

The red canopy still hung above the windows and door to the restaurant, while two long pots sat beneath the windows. During this time of winter the golden flowers couldn’t bloom, so for the moment nothing was occupying the frozen dirt.

Sans took a moment to wipe his feet on the scraggly rug inside the restaurant whilst taking off his trench coat to reveal a simple white button-up underneath. The little bell that was hung above the door went off when he opened it, surprised again that he needn’t fetch his key to unlock the restaurant.

He had just taken off his fedora and nestled it in between his arm when he noticed his brother falling half-asleep on the counter. His arms held his skull but he lifted it in shock when the bell sounded. “Nngh, Sans?”

“Hey bro.” Sans replied, hearing his loafers click on the black and white tiled floor and across the room of wooden tables and hung up chairs. Old, green wallpaper stained the walls with yellow flower accents, and hanging on the walls were pictures that were taken all around the monster territory. Some pictures were of a few, special clients like the Boss and his wife long ago. In the corner of the room was a grand piano. “You’re sleeping at the counter, why?”

“Well, I thought your job would have been quick, so I decided to stay up and wait for you.” Papyrus embarrassedly blushed, his eyes moving to the counter. “I sort of fell asleep in the process…”

“Aw, you don’t have to wait for me.” Sans could feel his emotional mask slip off as if he was taking it off himself, walking as close to the counter as he could without being obscured by it. He decided not to climb atop the bar stools since his final destination was for the stairs.

“I know.” Papyrus replied, the sound of china clinking on the counter. Suddenly Sans could see a small slice of key lime pie in his brother’s hand, which he held down for him. “We had one more slice of pie by the time the restaurant closed. You know how much I hate to waste food.”

Papyrus had to lean over the counter to hand the plate to Sans, a dish he welcomed heartily. His eyes warmly stared at the preserved slice of pie. “Aw shucks, Paps. I’m glad I can be your garbage disposal.”

“It saves throwing it out.” Papyrus beamed as Sans picked up the fork on the plate, deciding to take a bite. “For no one throws out food prepared by the Great Papyrus!”

“You got that right.” Sans closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the tartness of the dessert before using his fork to point for the stairs. “Hows about we get some sleep? You know how much the neighbors enjoy their Wednesday lunch.”

“Nnyes, they do enjoy the spaghetti pot pie.” Papyrus decided to walk around the counter while Sans went straight for the door at the end of the restaurant that didn’t lead into the kitchen. Sans figured Papyrus hadn’t changed clothes since the restaurant closed as he was still wearing his brown, bone accented sweater-vest, long sleeved, white dress shirt, a red tie, his long, brown pants and black loafers.

“So how was the job?” Papyrus opened the door first with a loud creak, allowing Sans to go in first before following behind.

Sans turned to look at his brother while hanging up his coat and hat on some pegs Papyrus hammered into the lower part of their coat hanger. It was Sans sized. “The usual. There were humans, things exploded.”

“That’s normal for you?” Papyrus sounded a little jealous at the mention of explosives, walking behind Sans up the creaky, wooden stairs.

“It’s nothing to brag about.” Sans responded, gesturing his hands to the side with a simple shrug. “It’s a ‘booming’ job.”

Papyrus frowned. “This late at night, Sans?”

“Heh, what can I say?” By the time Sans reached the top he decided to spin on his heels and face his much taller brother. He gave him a wink. “I can’t help if all of my jokes ‘bomb’. But it could be that they’re just too ‘loud’ for you.”

“Yeah well I think you’re too loud.” Sans chuckled when his brother reached the top, deciding to pick him up and walk him down the narrow hall to the left of the staircase. There were several, black and white photos hanged on the wall of the two as children growing up. “Now eat your pie then go to sleep.”

He needed only one hand to open up Sans’ bedroom door, setting him down at the foot of his room. Sans merely grinned back up at his brother, which made his frown deepen. “But Paps, I’m ‘exploding’ with energy now.”

“Sans!” Sans laughed as Papyrus continued down the hall to the next available door.

“Alright, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I expect you to help tomorrow.” Papyrus shot his brother a warning glance, but Sans still kept his goofy grin.

Sans lightly waved his hand. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get up early, for sure.”

Sans started to close the door, keeping it still for a moment to hear his brother cry. “Early is not pass noon!”

After closing his door, Sans turned his back to the wooden frame and leaned up against it for a moment. He stared into the darkness of his room, being able to make out some dirty socks on the floor and unwashed plates. The blinds on his window were entangled together at the top, allowing moonlight to beam into his room and show off the rest of it. There was a dresser where he kept his nice and work clothes, a small book shelf where he piled his car magazines and other, various books. Some were jokes, some were science books.

A small, metal tin was in the far right corner of the room beneath a part of the ceiling that was discolored and drenched. Sans frowned and locked his gaze on a small drop threatening to fall. He waited until he heard it plink into the metal tin before shaking his head. The roof was leaking into the attic again, but he’d tell Papyrus in the morning. No use worrying about it tonight.

Setting the pie on his nightstand, Sans slipped out of his loafers and decided to lay on his lumpy, spring mattress that was held up by a metal frame. Sans took a moment to stare up at the ceiling, recalling the night behind him.

Something felt odd in his back pocket. Sitting up while several springs groaned under the weight, Sans dug into the back pocket of his pants, his eye sockets widening a little.

Retracting his hand, he found six gold coins in this bony hand. He counted them out again to be sure what he was holding was there before flopping back onto his mattress.

He laid his hand with the gold to the side of him, staring intently at the ceiling again. Then, he brought a hand to his skull, feeling a light blush overtake him once more. “Sheesh.”

It was too late at night to think about this.


End file.
